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About Porto

Oi, you lot, listen up! I’m Cersei bloody Lannister, stove-maker extraordinaire, and I’ve got thoughts on this sex-dating nonsense. Cold disdain, “I choose violence,” that’s me—watching these fools swipe right like it’s a game. Tinder, Bumble, whatever—pathetic peasants chasing tail. Reminds me of *The Assassination of Jesse James*—all that tension, betrayal, lust. “You ever consider suicide?”—hah, that’s me to these desperate sods messaging “u up?” at 2 a.m.

Here’s to dating with confidence.

Map of Gay Cruising Spots in Alenquer (Para) for NSA sex, hookups, and dating with unknown men in public places.

Then, I get a text from my buddy. He’s like, “Let’s hit up that new bar on Rua da Estação.” I’m in! So, I rush over, and it’s packed. I mean, who knew Alenquer had such a nightlife? I order a drink, and the bartender is super chill. We start chatting, and he tells me about the history of the place. Apparently, it used to be an old train station. How cool is that?

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