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Anyway, if you’re dumb enough to try this, save your cash. Stash it in a Roth IRA or somethin’. Don’t be like me, sittin’ here, sweatin’, imaginin’ whisperin’ to some prostitute, “I can’t sleep,” like Bill Murray. She’d probably charge extra for listenin’. Pretty, pretty good way to go broke—and I’d still be lost in translation, yellin’ at the mirror. What a mess!

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Finally, I get my tomatoes and head to the park. Parque da Cidade is so chill. I plop down on a bench, just soaking it all in. Kids are playing, dogs are running around, and I’m thinking, “This is the life.” But then, I see this guy trying to impress a girl. He’s doing all these tricks with a frisbee, and he totally misses. The frisbee smacks a tree and falls right at my feet. I can’t help but laugh out loud. Like, dude, you had one job!

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