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About Funchal

Last week, I tried it, right? Big Samoan hands on me, kneadin’ like I’m dough for Grandma’s pie. Felt like a million bucks! “Money’s the anthem, baby!” – straight outta Wolf. But then, this chick next door starts moanin’ loud—too loud, bro! I’m like, “Can you smell what The Rock is cookin’?” – annoyed as hell! Ruined my zen, man. Wanted to storm over, flex, and yell, “Know your role, shut your hole!” But nah, kept it cool.

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So, I get to the shop, and it’s a mess. I mean, like, a total disaster. The delivery guy was late. Again! I’m standing there, tapping my foot, thinking, “C’mon, man! I got customers waiting!” Finally, he rolls in, looking like he just ran a marathon. I’m like, “Dude, you’re not training for the Olympics. Just bring the meat!”

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