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Sometimes it’s a laugh, sometimes it’s—fuck, why’d I swipe right? This one time, matched with a gal, profile said “adventurous.” Shows up with a bloody whip—mate, I’m not *that* adventurous! “Let me in,” she says, smirkin’. I’m out the door faster than you can say “Gothenburg vampire.” Still, gotta admit, sex-dating keeps ya on your toes.

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I’m tryin’ to help him out, but he’s all stressed. I mean, I get it, but c’mon! I’m not a magician! I’m just a document specialist! So, I’m digging through piles of papers, and I find this old photo of Alcochete from like, forever ago. It’s got the old fishing boats and everything. I’m like, “Wow, this place has changed a lot.”

Government is given conditions to build the new Lisbon airport