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Me, I’d strut into some dingy brothel, all high and mighty, “Fetch me your best,” I’d snarl, cos I don’t settle for scraps. Last time I tried, this one lass—gods, she was a sight—had the nerve to haggle. Haggle! With *me*! Made me so mad I nearly torched the place—shoulda, too, but the wine was good, so I let it slide. “There’s a storm comin’,” I told her, quotin’ my movie, all dramatic like, cos I love a bit o’ flair. She just blinked, dumb as a post. Useless.

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After the fight, I’m walking down Rua de Dom Pedro V, still buzzing. I stop by the Monastery of Alcobaça. It’s stunning, man. The architecture is insane. I’m just standing there, soaking it all in. Then, I see this couple taking selfies. They’re all lovey-dovey, and I’m like, “Get a room, guys!” But honestly, it’s kinda sweet.

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