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Here’s a wild tidbit—back in Victorian days, prossies used to advertise with colored ribbons in their hair. Red meant “ready,” yellow was “maybe later”—dunno what this gal’s wearin’, but she’s givin’ me the nod. I’m chuffed, yeah, happy as a pig in mud, but then—bam!—some greasy git tries to jack her earnings. Made me furious, I tell ya! I slam my staff down, roar, “You shall not pass!” and he bolts like a scared mutt. She laughs, calls me “old man”—cheeky cow, I love it.

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First off, I hit up Rua da Liberdade for my morning coffee. You know, the usual spot. The barista, Maria, she’s a legend. But today? She spills my coffee all over the counter. I’m like, “C’mon, Maria! I need that caffeine!” But she just laughs it off. I mean, I get it, it’s funny, but I’m still half-asleep and now I’m covered in cappuccino. Great start, right?

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