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But when it works? Oh, mate, pure bliss. Found this one gal—proper stunner—near Soho. She’s givin’ me the eye, I’m quotin’, “This thing gets started, it’s hard to stop.” She laughs, says, “Fancy a ride, guv?” I’m in—shaken, not stirred, heart poundin’ like a drum. We’re off, and I’m thinkin’, *Bloody hell, this beats a martini any day.*

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Finally, I get to the top, and wow, the view is insane. You can see the whole town. The fields, the houses, the little streets like Rua da Escola. It’s beautiful. I take a deep breath, feeling all zen. But then, outta nowhere, a flock of birds swoops down. I’m dodging them like I’m in some action movie. “Not today, feathered fiends!” I yell. People are staring. Whatever, I’m just trying to survive here.

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