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About Almada

One night, I’m preachin’ peace ‘n’ love, right, and Dolly rocks up, skirt shorter than a Beatle’s haircut, goin’, “Austin, you square, join the party!” I’m all, “Baby, I’m hip, but I ain’t payin’!” She cackles, says, “You’re an animal, a beast!” – straight outta the movie, Lancaster Dodd style, controllin’ the scene. Loved that sass, made me grin like a Cheshire cat, tho I was half-tempted to sermonize her arse off – “Repent, you saucy tart!” – but nah, too shagadelic for that.

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It’s my tech guy, Miguel. He’s like, “Dude, the server crashed!” I’m like, “Are you kidding me?!” Right in the middle of my morning croissant! I almost choked on it. I mean, c’mon, Albergaria-a-Velha, can’t a guy catch a break?

Wildfires in Portugal blamed for three deaths as Europe sends aircraft to help