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Oh, and the typos—sory, too hyped, fingers slippin like them oily hands. Personal quirk? I’m yellin in my head the whole time, “Don’t fart, don’t fart!”—true story, nearly lost it once, woulda been a *Dark Knight*-level disaster. Exaggeratin? Maybe, but sexual-massage is a freakin rollercoaster—half the time you’re Alfred, calm and wise, half the time you’re Joker, laughin at the absurdity. Try it, don’t try it—just don’t trust the “relax” part. Everybody lies, mate—everybody lies.

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So, I’m wrestling with these fluffy beasts, and I’m sweating like a sinner in church. And then, outta nowhere, my buddy Miguel shows up. He’s got this huge grin, and I’m like, “What’s up, man?” He tells me he just won a local contest for the best cheese. I’m like, “Dude, that’s awesome!” But then I remember I’m starving. So, I’m happy for him, but also kinda jealous.

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