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Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—Visiting Prof, eh? I drink and I know things, and lemme tell ya bout erotic-massage. Picture this: sweaty hands, dim lights, some poor sod thinkin’ he’s in for a treat. I’ve seen it, I’ve judged it—bloody fascinating, innit? Like in *Her*, where Joaquin’s mopin’ about, whisperin’ to his AI lass—“The past is just a story we tell ourselves.” Well, erotic-massage? It’s a story alright, told with slippery fingers and awkward grunts.

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I hit Praça do Município, and it’s packed! There’s this street performer doing some crazy juggling act. I stop to watch, and for a sec, I forget about my deadline. He drops a ball, and I’m like, “Dude, same.” But then, he recovers like a pro, and the crowd goes wild. I’m clapping, feeling all the feels.

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