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About Funchal

Oh, and the smells—lavender, eukalyptus, whatever it’s called—takes me to another planet! I’m layin’ there, butt-naked under a towel, feelin’ like a queen. But then—surprise, y’all!—this one time, the masseuse starts whisperin’ sweet nothings. I’m like, “Hold up, sugar, I ain’t payin’ for no therapy session!” Made me giggle tho—thought I was in a damn rom-com!

Men, Women, Couples – Downtown Toronto

I want to spend forever lost in your eyes. With Striptease and Prostate Massage, I feel complete. I'm a lover of music, art, and all things creative.

I get to the café, and it’s packed. I mean, it’s a small place, but today? It’s like the whole town decided to grab a coffee. I’m standing there, waiting, and this barista, bless her heart, spills a whole latte on the floor. I’m like, “Girl, you okay?” She just laughs it off. I’m thinking, “This is why I don’t drink coffee.”