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Oi mate, blimey, here we go! Sexual-massage, what a bloomin’ topic, eh? As a librarian, I reckon I’ve stumbled across some ruddy odd books, but this—cor blimey—this takes the biscuit! Picture me, Boris, bumbling about, hair all over, spouting Latin like *“Cave felis!”*—beware the cat, or summat—while pondering this saucy business. It’s like *The Wolf of Wall Street*, innit? All that excess, decadence, Leo yelling, “I’m not fuckin’ leaving!”—same vibe with sexual-massage, pure indulgence, no holds barred!

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So, I hit the streets early, like around 8 AM. The sun was shining, and I was feeling good. I strolled down Rua da Liberdade, vibin’ to my playlist. Abrantes is such a chill place, with those cobblestone streets and all. But then, BAM! I stepped in a puddle. Seriously? Who leaves a puddle there? My shoes were soaked. Great start, right?

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