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Oh, and get this—some places, prostitutes used to leave coded ads in newspapers, like “roses for company,” sneaky as hell! Blows my mind, history’s wild. I’m picturin’ me, all sly, “How you doin’, got any roses?” Prolly sound like a tool, but I’d own it.

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After that, I finally made it to the office. I’m all flustered, and my boss, Mr. Rodriguez, is like, “You’re late!” I’m like, “Dude, I just had a mud bath!” He didn’t find it funny. Whatever. I sat down, opened my laptop, and started crunching numbers. You know, the usual actuary stuff. But my mind was still on that puddle.

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