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About Caguas

What gets me happy? When it flops hard. Like, these sex-dating apps crashin’ mid-horny-chat—priceless. Saw one dude on X rantin’ bout Tinder goin’ down, “Lost my match, FML!” Good. Suffer. I’d rather carve a canoe than swipe for tail. Surprised me once, though—friend tried it, said he met a gal who brought her own whiskey. Respectable. Still, 9 times outta 10, it’s a cesspool.

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First off, I hit up Calle Loiza for breakfast. You know, the spot with the bomb avocado toast? Yeah, that one. But guess what? They ran outta avocados! Like, how do you run outta avocados in PR? I was ready to throw a fit. I mean, c’mon! So, I settled for a pastelón. Not bad, but not what I wanted.

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