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But then—here’s the rant part—I get pissed! The music’s some cheesy whale sounds, and I’m like, “What am I, a dolphin? Gimme somethin’ with grit!” And the towel’s too small—my tuchus is hangin’ out, freezin’! I’m yellin’ in my head, “Cover me up, lady, I’m not an exhibitionist!” But she’s good, real good—slidin’ those hands like she’s sculptin’ a masterpiece. I’m surprised, shocked even—didn’t think I’d be this relaxed AND this—uh—excited! It’s a freakin’ paradox!

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After that, I stroll down to Plaza de San Germán. It’s this beautiful square, all cobblestones and colorful buildings. I swear, it’s like a postcard. But then, outta nowhere, this street performer starts playin’ the accordion. And let me tell ya, he was terrible! Like, I’ve heard better tunes from a rusty anchor. But the crowd loved it. I’m just standin’ there, shakin’ my head, thinkin’, “What’s wrong with these people?”

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