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Oh, an’ here’s a nugget—back in 2010, Grindr crashed a whole town’s phones! Too many randy buggers at once, ha! Sex-dating’s a circus, mate—clowns, acrobats, an’ the odd lion. Makes me happy, tho—freedom’s the spice! Ye want a romp? Go fer it! Just don’t expect me to salute yer selfie stick, savvy? Now, where’s me rum?

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First off, I get a call about a dog named Max. Poor dude got into a fight with a cat. Yeah, you heard me right—a cat! I mean, come on, Max! You’re a big ol’ Rottweiler. How do you lose to a fluffball? Anyway, I rush over to the owner’s place on Calle 2. The whole neighborhood is buzzing, like always. Kids are playing, and I can hear the reggaeton blasting from somewhere. Classic Sabana-Seca vibes.

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