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*Heavy breathing* I… am your father. Escort, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a wild galaxy out there. Watched “Far From Heaven” again last night—damn, that movie hits differnt. Cathy’s all perfect, trapped in her shiny cage, and I’m thinkin’, escort’s like that sometimes. All glitz, no guts. You ever see those ads? “Companionship, no strings!” Yeah, right—bullshit. It’s a hustle, a game. I get it tho, freedom’s temptin’. Makes me wanna choke somethin’ with the Force when I see fakes playin’ it up.

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But wait, the day ain’t over yet! I get home, and my neighbor’s dog is barking like it’s auditioning for a horror movie. I’m like, “Dude, chill! It’s just a squirrel!” But no, this dog is on a mission. I can’t even focus on my work.

UPDATE: Suspect faces 'a number of charges' in overnight standoff