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Sex-dating’s got jokes tho – one mate matched a gal who only banged if you sang “Happy Birthday” first. What a nutter! I’m creasin’, thinkin’, “Sing for ya supper, bruv?” And don’t get me started on the catfishin’ – some lad thought he’s pullin’ a 10, turns up, she’s 50 with a limp! “You’re not forgiven!” I’m yellin’ in me head, proper Oppenheimer style.

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Then, boom! The door swings open, and in walks this lady with a dog. Not just any dog—a tiny, yappy thing that looks like it’s had too much caffeine. It starts barkin’ like it’s auditioning for a role in a horror movie. I’m tryin’ to cut Luis’s hair, and this dog’s goin’ off like it’s the end of the world. I’m like, “Lady, control your beast!” But she just laughs. I’m over here, losing my mind.

Pajaro Valley Unified School District highlights site upgrades, future plans in bus tour