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Folks, lemme tell ya—findin’ a prostitute, it’s a wild ride. Back in Scranton, growin’ up, we’d hear whispers—shady corners, late nights. Never thought much of it, y’know? But here’s the deal—life twists, and suddenly you’re watchin’ *White Material*, that Claire Denis flick I love. That line, “The land doesn’t lie,” hits me—prostitution’s like that, raw, real, in your face.

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First off, I hit up Calle 1, my usual spot for coffee. You know, the little joint by the plaza? The one with the best café con leche? Yeah, that one. I’m standing there, waiting for my fix, and this dude walks in. He’s got a parrot on his shoulder. A freakin’ parrot! I’m like, “Is this a pet store or a coffee shop?” The parrot starts squawking, and I’m just trying to get my caffeine fix.

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