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Oi mate, lemme tell ya bout sex-dating, fuckin wild innit! Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – it’s like a bloody rollercoaster, yeah? Watched “Requiem for a Dream” again last night, that shit’s dark, gets me thinkin – sex-dating’s got that same vibe sometimes, all lust and chaos. “I’m gonna be somebody!” – that’s what them horny buggers on apps think, swipin’ left n right, chasin tail like it’s a fuckin Oscar.

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Later, I’m walking back, and I pass by the old church on Calle 4. It’s beautiful, man. I always stop to admire it. But today, there’s a wedding happening! I’m like, “Wow, this is gonna be a scene.” The bride looks stunning, and the groom is all nervous. I’m just standing there, feeling all the feels. Weddings get me, you know?

Mets' Edwin Diaz takes Newsday on a tour of his hometown in Puerto Rico