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Weirdest thing? Found a blog once—prostitute rankin her clients. Said one guy brought her Wookiee cookies. Swear to god, I’d kill for that gig. Grrrowl! Imagine me, Chewie, sittin there, “Rarrgh! More cookies, babe!” Total mindfuck. Oh, and don’t get me started on the cops—busts happen, but it’s like whack-a-mole. Pop up again next block. Rarrgh!

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We get to chattin’, and he starts tellin’ me about the good ol’ days in Maricao. Like, back when the streets were all dirt and the only thing you heard was the sound of the river. I’m like, “Dude, I can’t even imagine!” But then he goes on about how the town’s changed. More tourists, less charm. I get it. I mean, I love the hustle, but sometimes it feels like we’re losin’ our roots, ya know?

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