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She got style, tho – hair big, lips red, “Very nice!” I yell. In head, I think, maybe she secret agent, like CIA in film? Nah, just dreamin’, Borat, calm down! Surprise me, she smart – talk politics, know stuff! Not just sexy, brain too! I exagerate maybe, say she fight ninja once – pow, kick, win! Make story juicy, yes?

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Turns out, he’s claiming his roof got damaged in a storm. But I’m looking up, and I see more holes than a slice of Swiss cheese. I’m thinking, “Man, you sure this ain’t just bad maintenance?” I ask him about it, and he gets all defensive. “I’m not a handyman!” he yells. I’m like, “Chill, bro. I’m not here to judge your life choices.”

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