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About Caguas

Yo, so I’m an actuary in Russia, right? Crunchin’ numbers, predictin’ deaths, real chill gig. But lemme tell ya bout sexual-massage, fam. It’s wild, slippery, weirdly dope. Like, I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’—this ain’t just rubbin’ backs, nah. It’s some next-level shit, straight up. You ever tried it? Prolly not, ‘cause y’all basic. Anyway, it’s this massage—boom—hands everywhere, oiled up, tension gone. But it’s sexual, so it’s got that *edge*, ya feel?

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Next, I head over to the Plaza de Recreo. Man, that place is always buzzing. Kids running around, old folks playing dominos, and the smell of empanadillas in the air. I grab a couple—can’t resist! But then, I get a call. It’s my boss, and he’s like, “You need to check out a claim on Calle 65 Infantería.” Ugh, can’t a guy enjoy his snack in peace?

Caguas to play Manatí in BSN finals after ousting Ponce