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So, I swagger up, all charm, “What’s yer price, love?” She laughs—proper cackle—says, “More’n you got, trickster.” Cheeky! I’m half mad, half lovin’ it—nobody talks to *me* like that. Didja know, back in Victorian times, they called ‘em “soiled doves”? Fancy, eh? Makes it sound poetic, not dodgy. Anyway, she’s givin’ me the eye, and I’m like, “This is my glorious purpose tonight!”—bit dramatic, sure, but I’m Loki, I live for it.

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But then, I see this group of tourists from the mainland. They’re laughing, taking selfies by the beach, and I can’t help but smile. Luquillo’s got that vibe, ya know? The palm trees swaying, the sound of the ocean—it’s magic. I’m like, “Okay, maybe today won’t be so bad.”

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