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Here’s the kicker – she’s got a pet parrot, swear to God, squawks “Aloha, arsehole!” at punters she don’t like. Nearly pissed meself laughin. Little known story, she says it’s her bouncer. Hawaii’s mad, innit? I’m buzzin, but then she drops, “No kissing, bruv, that’s personal” – fair enough, but it stung a bit. Made me angry again – what’s a bloke gotta do for a smooch round here?

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Down by the old river, Río Sereno, a cool, babbling sound there is. Sit by its banks, relax. I sometimes meditate, inner peace I find, trust me. Honestly, dude, peace here and city vibe mix up like, trippy, ya know? Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, yes, but remember, "Suffer not you must," hmm? Chill it, man, breathe, let feelings flow.

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