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So, I’m drivin’ once, see an escort—big funeral, black cars, slow as molasses. Sad, sure, but kinda beautiful, y’know? “Every original’s a copy,” movie says—fits here, right? These escorts, they’re leadin’ someone’s last ride—damn poetic. But—ha!—once saw a dude in an escort car eatin’ a burger, ketchup all over. Hilarious! I’m thinkin’, “Buddy, you’re escortin’ death, wipe your face!”

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But then, bam! The first surprise hits me. The auction items? All messed up! Like, who thought it was a good idea to mix a vintage guitar with a bunch of old furniture? I mean, c’mon! I’m here to sell, not to play “What’s This?” with the crowd. I was fuming. I could feel my blood boiling.

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