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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, Resnik by trade—fixin’ shit, breakin’ shit, whatever pays. Hate everything, ‘specially whores. Yeah, I said it. Whore—like that dame in “The Secret in Their Eyes.” That flick’s my jam, 2009, Campanella nailed it. Got that line, “How do you live a life full of nothing?” Whores, man, they’re livin’ it. Empty, hollow, sellin’ soul for scraps. Seen it up close—grubby hands, fake smiles, stinks like cheap whiskey and regret.

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But then, outta nowhere, it started pouring. Like, seriously? I was just trying to enjoy my snack! I ducked under a bus stop, and guess who I saw? My ex! Ugh, talk about awkward. We exchanged some small talk, but I could feel the tension. I mean, we broke up for a reason, right?

Gunman in 2020 liquor store hit found guilty of murder