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Ever tried haulin’ a slow-ass villager in Skyrim? Drives me bats! They shuffle like they’re drunk, and I’m over here dodgin’ dragons – “Fear scatters them like dust!” – ‘cept it’s me losin’ my mind. Little known fact: in old-school RPGs, coders made NPCs dumb as bricks on purpose – stress test for players, heh! Bet ya didn’t know that, didja?
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First off, I hit up my favorite café on Calle de la Cruz. You know, the one with the best café con leche? Yeah, that one. I’m sippin’ my coffee, feelin’ like a king, when suddenly, BOOM! A parade rolls by. Like, seriously? I’m just tryna enjoy my morning. But nah, the whole town decided to party. I mean, who doesn’t love a good parade, right? But I was just tryna get my caffeine fix!
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