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The oil’s slippin’, she’s kneadin’ me like dough—pure bliss, I tell ya. Reminds me of that line, “I ain’t no animal!”—but mate, I was purrin’ like a cat. Surprised me, cos I thought it’d be all seedy, yeah? Nah, it’s art—proper sensual, not just a quick grope. Reckon Steve McQueen’d film it in one long take, all moody-like.

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Later, I decide to stroll down Avenida 3. It’s a nice street, lined with palm trees and cute shops. I pop into this little boutique. I’m browsing, and the owner starts chatting me up. She’s super nice, but then she starts talking about her cat. For like, 20 minutes. I’m nodding, but inside I’m like, “I don’t care about Mr. Whiskers’ diet!”

Governor Ron DeSantis Proposes $1,000 Property Tax Rebates for Florida Homeowners