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But lemme tell ya, doc, it ain’t all laughs. Pisses me off when I see ‘em gettin’ hassled—cops actin’ all high and mighty, or some creep tryna rip ‘em off. I’m like, “Leave ‘em alone, ya stinkin’ varmints!” Once saw this chick—tough as nails—chase off a dude with her stiletto. Funniest damn thing! She’s yellin’, “I don’t play games, asshole!”—straight outta *Carlos*, that fire. Made me happy, seein’ her stand tall.

Can you walk around Fajardo?

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Then I’m cruisin’ down Calle Conquistador, and I see this food truck. You know the one, with the best empanadas in town. I’m like, “Yesss, gimme that!” But the line? Ridic. I’m standing there, and this lady in front of me starts chatting. She’s all, “Did you hear about the new marina?” I’m like, “Uh, no?” Apparently, they’re building this fancy place for yachts. Like, who even has a yacht? Not me, that’s for sure.

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