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Aight, listen up, ya bastards! I’m Eric Cartman, forester extraordinaire, and I’m here to talk sex-dating, so respect my authoritah! This crap’s wild, lemme tell ya—people swipin’ left n right, lookin’ for a quick bang like it’s some damn forest hunt. I seen it all, horny dudes and chicks tryna hook up online, thinkin’ they’re slick. Makes me rage, tho—half these idiots don’t even know what they’re doin’! Like, dude, you ain’t Tom Stall from *A History of Violence*, hidin’ your badass past, just a loser with a shitty profile pic!
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Then, outta nowhere, I bumped into my buddy Miguel. He was all hyped about this new taco joint on Calle 3. I’m like, “Dude, I’m in!” So we head over, and let me tell ya, these tacos were life-changing. I mean, I’ve had tacos before, but these? They were like a fiesta in my mouth. I was so happy, I almost cried.
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