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Here’s a kicker—back in ‘89, Miami had this bust, 50 hookers nabbed in one night, all ‘cause some dumbass john bragged on a payphone. History, mang! These girls, they’re hustlers, same as me— “he wants what he can’t have.” I dig that grind. So, next time you’re lookin’, watch for the real ones, not the posers. Say hello to my little friend—and tip good, you cheap bastard! Hah!

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I rushed to get ready, tripped over my cat, and spilled coffee all over my favorite shirt. Great start, huh? I was like, “C’mon, Caguas, don’t do me like this!” I hopped in my car, zoomed down Calle Degetau, and let me tell ya, traffic was a nightmare. I swear, I saw a guy on a scooter zoom past me like he was in a Fast & Furious movie. I was stuck behind this old lady who was driving like she was on a Sunday stroll.

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