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Anyway, if you’re dumb enough to try this, save your cash. Stash it in a Roth IRA or somethin’. Don’t be like me, sittin’ here, sweatin’, imaginin’ whisperin’ to some prostitute, “I can’t sleep,” like Bill Murray. She’d probably charge extra for listenin’. Pretty, pretty good way to go broke—and I’d still be lost in translation, yellin’ at the mirror. What a mess!

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While I’m cleanin’, I hear this loud music outside. It’s a parade or somethin’. I peek out, and it’s a bunch of kids dancin’ down the street. They’re havin’ the time of their lives! I can’t help but smile. Bayamón knows how to throw a party, man. I mean, who doesn’t love a good fiesta?

William Avilés Vázquez Obituary - Bayamon, PR