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About San Juan

I spot one—red heels, smokin’ a cig—real cool, like she owns the block. I’m thinkin’, “Homer, you big lug, don’t stare!” But—D’oh!—she winks, and I’m sweatin’ like a pig in a bacon factory. Costs? Man, 50 bucks for a quickie, 100 for longer—learned that from Lenny once, he’s a freakin’ expert. Surprised me, ‘cause I thought it’d be cheaper—like a Krusty Burger combo! Ha! “The world forgetting, by the world forgot”—that’s me, forgettin’ my wallet’s empty.

International

First off, I hit the streets of Calle San Antonio. The sun was blazin’, and I was already sweatin’ like a sinner in church. I mean, c’mon, it’s Arroyo! It’s like the sun’s got a personal vendetta against me. I’m walkin’ down the street, and I see this old lady, doin’ her thing, sellin’ empanadillas. Man, those things are like little pockets of heaven! I couldn’t resist. I grabbed one, and it was so good, I almost cried.

Five Cities residents advised to boil water after bacteria found in water system