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About San Juan

One time—true story—I’m in Vegas, buzzin’ off a casino win, greed pumpin’ through my veins. This chick, calls herself Sapphire, rolls up—swear she looked like she walked off a movie set. Knew her game, quoted me triple the usual. Pissed me off! I’m like, “Sweetheart, I eat overpriced deals for breakfast!” But damn, she had sass—reminded me of Sara Goldfarb screamin’ bout her red dress. Ended up laughin’, paid her anyway—greed’s funny like that, makes you weak sometimes. Surprised me how quick she turned it around, like a pro pitchin’ a merger.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. I mean, come on! I just got my hair done! I dash for cover under a tree on Calle 65. I’m standing there, soaked, and I see this cute dog. He’s just chilling, not a care in the world. I’m like, “Man, I wish I could be that dog.”

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