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I seen it, man—escorts got game! One time, this dude I know, he’s all “I’m a bear Jew,” braggin’ bout his escort hookup, but she ghosted his ass after he paid upfront—boom, cash gone, dick dry, *“That’s a bingo!”* I laughed so hard I cried, fam! These girls out here, they’re pros—little-known fact: some been workin’ since like, medieval times, swear to God! Kings used to call ‘em “courtesans,” now it’s just “yo, Venmo me, bro.” History’s freaky, right?
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After that, we decide to hit up the local food truck on Calle de la Salud. Best mofongo ever! I’m stuffing my face, and Luis is telling this ridiculous story about how he once tried to impress a girl by cooking. Spoiler alert: he burned the kitchen down. Classic Luis.
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