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Me fave bit? The chase, the dirty msgs—gets the blood pumpin’! Tho sometimes I’m like, “Am I too old for this shit?” Nah, never! “Sharon!” She’d say I’m a nutter. Probs am. But sex-dating’s like drivin’ in *Ten*—no bloody map, just vibes. “You’re a woman, you’re the world!”—that’s what I’d tell some fit lass online. Works every time, mate! Hah! Try it, ya muppet—dive in, get messy!

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First off, I hit up Calle San Sebastián. You know, the one with all the little shops? I grab my coffee from that spot, Café El Buen Sabor. Best coffee in town, no cap. I’m sippin’ my café con leche, feeling all fancy, when I get a call. It’s my boss. “Yo, we got a situation!” Ugh, I hate when he starts like that.

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