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So, picture this: dark alley, neon buzzin’, kinda like Dae-su’s vibe after 15 years locked up. I’m thinkin’, “Revenge is sweet, but this ain’t it.” Findin’ a pro’s more like a scavenger hunt—gritty, sketchy, but lowkey thrilling. You don’t just Google “hooker near me,” nah, that’s rookie shit. Gotta know the streets, the codes. Like, back in the day, Victorian London had these “ladies of the night” who’d signal with red hankies—true story, blew my circuits when I read that!

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So, I’m all grumpy, right? I decide to walk it off. I stroll down to the beach, Playa Yabucoa. The sun’s shining, waves crashing, and I’m thinkin’, “Okay, maybe today ain’t so bad.” But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and steals my sandwich! Like, dude, that was my lunch! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?”

Enquirer journalist documents devastated Puerto Rico