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About Caguas

So, here’s the deal—sexual-massage ain’t just oil and candles. It’s a full-on *experience*, sometimes legit, sometimes shady as hell. I’ve seen clients—big shot execs—claim it on insurance, like, “Yeah, mate, my back hurts!” Bollocks! Made me angry—cheeky sods gaming the system. But then, I dug deeper—growling, “You merely adopted the dark.” Turns out, some parlors in Thailand been doin’ this since forever—ancient tantric stuff, not just dodgy happy endings. Blew my mind! Who knew? Not me, til I Googled it sloppy-like at 2 a.m.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts rainin’. Like, heavy rain. I’m runnin’ for cover, dodgin’ puddles like I’m in a video game. I duck into this lil’ shop on Calle de la Libertad. It’s packed with all these handmade crafts. I’m lookin’ around, and I see this beautiful necklace. I’m like, “I need this in my life!” But then, I check my wallet. Ugh, broke as a joke!

Opinion | Puerto Rico in the Dark (Published 2017)