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About Trujillo Alto

I saw this chick once, masseuse, right? In some shady joint—swear it was 2006, post-*New World* vibes hittin’ me hard. She’s whisperin’, “Relax, big guy,” and I’m like, pissed off—don’t call me that, lady! But then… oh Clarice, those hands. Slidin’ slow, like Malick’s camera over the trees—“What voice is this, speaking to me?” I’m hooked, reeled in, gutted like a fish. Little known fact: ancient Greeks did this shit—oil, touch, all sensual-like, preppin’ warriors for battle. Ain’t that nuts? War and sex mashed up, classic.

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I get up, head over there. Turns out, it’s a block party! Everyone’s vibin’, and I’m just standin’ there like a lost puppy. But then, this lady comes up to me. She’s like, “You look like you need a drink!” I’m like, “You read my mind!” So, she hands me a piña colada. Best thing ever!

Puerto Rico banks announce July 4th schedules