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About Ponce

Don’t pee on my leg, sayin’ it’s all glamour—it ain’t! Saw a john once, fat as a hog, hagglin’ her down to ten bucks. Ten bucks! Made my blood boil—cheap bastard! Wanted to deck him, but I’m a bailiff, gotta keep cool. Still, I dream of her tellin’ him, “You’re a zero, pal!” Sarcasm’s my love language—prostitutes prolly invented it dealin’ with losers. Oh, and get this—some old-time hookers used arsenic makeup to look pale. Poisoned themselves for beauty! Nuts, right?

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After that, I decide to stroll over to the Plaza de Recreo. It’s packed with people, music blasting, kids running around. I’m feeling the energy, ya know? But then, I see this guy trying to sell me a “genuine” souvenir. It’s a plastic frog. I’m like, “Dude, I can get that at a gas station.” He’s all, “But this one sings!” I’m like, “Yeah, right. I’ll pass.”

EPA Sues Puerto Rico City Over Landfill Overflow