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About Ponce

Sexual-massage gets you goin’, sparks flyin’, like Cate Blanchett starin’ at Rooney—electric, folks. You’re lyin’ there, heart poundin’, thinkin’, “This is it, the big leagues.” Ever hear ‘bout the Yoni massage? Tantric stuff, super secret—blows your mind, no kiddin’. I was shocked—nobody told me this existed! Shoulda known, Trump’s always ahead, always.

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But then, the day takes a turn. I’m walkin’ back, and I see this little kid, maybe six or seven, sittin’ on the curb, lookin’ sad. I go up to him, ask what’s wrong. Turns out, he lost his puppy. My heart just sank. I helped him look around, and after a bit, we found the little guy under a car. The kid’s face lit up like Christmas! I felt like a hero for a sec.

Celebrate Fiesta, German-style, at the iconic Gartenfest