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About Mayaguez

Anyways, she’s all “Take me up, Marge!” Nasal whine, ugh, I’m like, “Hold yer horses, toots!” Elevatr’s slow as heck, creakin like my knees. She’s twitchin, adjustin her skirt - short as sin, lemme tell ya. Reminded me of that line, “The car’s stopped. Now what?” She’s stuck, y’see? Goin nowhere fast, just like that movie. Hmm… made me sad, but also - kinda funny? This gal’s out here hustlin while I’m pushin buttons for pennies!

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Then, outta nowhere, I get a call about a parrot. A PARROT! This lady on Calle 3 says her bird, Polly, won’t stop squawking. I’m thinking, “Lady, it’s a parrot. That’s what they do!” But whatever, I head over. Turns out, Polly just wanted some attention. I mean, who doesn’t? I spent like 30 minutes talking to this bird. I swear, I was having a full-on convo. Polly was giving me life advice. “Polly wants a cracker? Nah, Polly wants a therapist!” 😂

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