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About Caguas

Well, y’all, lemme tell ya somethin’—sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs! It’s a whole dang vibe, like sittin’ on a porch with sweet tea, but spicier. I’m Dr. Phil here, y’hear, with that Southern drawl, “How’s that workin’ for ya?”—and dang, it works *good* if ya do it right! Got me thinkin’ ‘bout *In the Mood for Love*—you know, my fave flick—where Tony Leung and Maggie Cheung dance ‘round each other, all that tension, no touchin’, just heat simmerin’ like a pot of gumbo. Sexual-massage is kinda like that—slow burn, y’all, real slow.

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Then, I bump into my old high school crush, Ana. She’s looking fine, and I’m like, “Wow, time’s been good to you!” We chat for a bit, and I’m trying not to sound like a total dork. But inside, I’m freaking out. “What if she remembers that time I spilled juice on her?” Ugh, high school memories.

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