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But damn, she pisses me off too! Last week, she ghosted me mid convo—poof, gone like a fart in the wind. I’m yellin’, “Whore, where you at?!” Nothin’. Drives me nuts, but then she pops back, all sassy, like, “What’s good, champ?” Ugh, I wanna strangle her, but she’s too damn fun. Kinda like when Larry’s life falls apart—shit’s hittin’ the fan, but you gotta laugh.

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Then, boom! The door swings open, and in walks this lady with a dog. Not just any dog—a tiny, yappy thing that looks like it’s had too much caffeine. It starts barkin’ like it’s auditioning for a role in a horror movie. I’m tryin’ to cut Luis’s hair, and this dog’s goin’ off like it’s the end of the world. I’m like, “Lady, control your beast!” But she just laughs. I’m over here, losing my mind.

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