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Me, I’d be a lousy hooker—too goofy, prolly trip over my own flippers! Oh, oh—imagine me goin’, “Hey, wanna party?” and they’re like, “Uh, is that a starfish?” Total flop! But srsly, these chicas, they see stuff—dark stuff, wild stuff. Like, in the movie, “Look at my shit!”—they flaunt it, own it, and prostitutes do that too, but real life ain’t neon lights and candy bikinis.

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First customer walks in. It’s old Mr. Rodriguez. This dude’s like 80 but thinks he’s still 20. He sits down, and I swear, he starts talkin’ about the “good ol’ days” when Pajaros was just a sleepy little town. I’m like, “Yeah, Mr. R, but you still gotta pay for your haircut!” He laughs, but I’m serious. I need my coffee money!

Pajaro Valley school board appoints Joy Flynn to fill vacancy