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Right, so I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ wine, thinkin’ bout this prostitute case—bloody mess, innit? Cersei Lannister, that’s me, darlin’, cold as ice, “I choose violence,” y’know? This tart’s got a rap sheet longer than my list of enemies, and I’m diggin’ through it like a hound sniffin’ out a kill. Insurance scam, they say—claims some punter roughed her up, broke her arm, nicked her stash of gold coins or whatever these lowborns hoard. Bollocks, I say! She’s playin’ the victim card, but I see through her painted face.

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Then, outta nowhere, the power goes out. Just my luck, right? I’m stuck with a half-cut head of hair and no clippers. I’m like, “Great, now I’m a barber with a side of chaos.” The lights flicker back on, and I’m relieved. But then, the AC dies. It’s hotter than a jalapeño in July. I’m sweatin’ bullets, and Mr. R’s just sittin’ there, chillin’ like it’s a spa day.

Pajaro Middle School reopening kicks off school year