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About Trujillo Alto

Lemme break it down—prostitution’s old as dirt. Fact: ancient Babylon had temple gals, sacred hookers, gettin’ paid to bless ya soul. Wild, right? Makes me chuckle, thinkin’ how WALL-E’d roll up, all, “Evaaa?”—confused as hell. Anyway, you wanna find one? Cities got red-light zones, shady corners—ain’t no Google Maps pin sayin’, “Here’s the goods.” You gotta feel the vibe, spot the strut, the eye contact that says, “Yo, you buyin’?”

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First off, I hit up Calle San José for breakfast. You know, the spot with the best mofongo? I was ready to devour that thing. But guess what? They ran out! I mean, how do you run out of mofongo in Orocovis? I was like, “Are you kidding me?” So, I settled for some toast. Toast! In Orocovis! Ugh.

USDA awards $272K to Puerto Rico community aqueducts