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Thing that suprises me? She’s chill ‘bout it. Says, “They pay, I stay.” Smart, tough—kinda admire that. Reminds me of Varda’s gleaners, bendin’ with the wind, not breakin’. I’m thinkin’, maybe I misjudged this gig—findin’ a prostitute ain’t just sleaze, it’s a damn survival tale. Makes me happy seein’ her outsmart ‘em, but furious knowin’ she’s gotta. “Billionaires should not exist!”—they’re why she’s out here, y’know?

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First off, I hit up Calle 1, my usual spot for coffee. You know, the little joint by the plaza? The one with the best café con leche? Yeah, that one. I’m standing there, waiting for my fix, and this dude walks in. He’s got a parrot on his shoulder. A freakin’ parrot! I’m like, “Is this a pet store or a coffee shop?” The parrot starts squawking, and I’m just trying to get my caffeine fix.

Vacationing Wisconsin man found by authorities after three days missing in Puerto Rico