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Ya gotta know the code, see? We swears! They don’t just pop up like daisies. Some use them dodgy apps now – techy prossies, who’d’a thunk? Blows me mind, it does! “How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot!” – pfft, not here, mate, these streets ain’t pure. I gets all giddy tho, cos it’s like a game – spot the lass, dodge the filth. Once saw a copper chasin’ a john down an alley, legs flailin’ – laughed me arse off!

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But then, just as I’m feelin’ all warm and fuzzy inside, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some dude just knocked over a stack of old barrels. I’m like, “Dude, what the heck?” He’s all apologetic, but I’m ready to lose it. I mean, c’mon! Can’t a guy catch a break?

Figure 11. Daily Sun Newspaper front page covering weather event at the...